Tales from the felt
Thursday, August 04, 2011 @ 12:28 PM
Since things around here seem somewhat slow of late, and because some people have intimated that I'm allowing cobwebs to gather around here, I thought I'd share some stories ;)
Some of these are first-hand accounts, things I've seen. Some, I'm just relaying, stories told to me by others.
Enjoy...
The hero sat in a $1-2 NL game. The antagonist, a younger gentleman who fit the stereotypical poker punk persona circa 2007, and he found themselves playing numerous pots against each other. These battles in this war of cards resulted in chips from the antagonist slowly making their way into the pile of chips in front of the hero.
In the final hand of their battle, the antagonist peeks at his hole cards after the dealer spreads the flop. Having flopped a full house, the nuts at the time, he opted to try and trap the hero in an effort to regain his lost chips. Both checked the flop.
The turn card gives our hero, who found himself with trips on the flop, four of a kind. Choosing not to slow play, he moves all in after the antagonist checks. The antagonist, of course, nearly beats him into the pot with his chips. He leaps from his seat, shouting "I got you this time," and slams his cards onto the table. "Full house, buddy," he nearly screams.
The hero shrugs and nonchalantly tables his hand. After the river card, the dealer starts to push the pot to the hero.
"Wait! Stop! What the hell are you doing?!?" The antagonist is clearly agitated. "What are you doing with my pot? I had a full house!"
The dealer continues pushing the pot to the hero as she looks up at the antagonist. "I understand that, sir, but this gentleman has four of a kind and four of a kind is a better hand than a full house. He wins the pot, sir."
The antagonist stammers. He paces. He glares. Finally, he points at the dealer and then at the hero while announcing, "I'm getting security. Don't leave." He storms out of the room before anyone can question why is he involving security in this matter.
Play continues with all eyes glancing periodically toward the entrance to the room. Shortly, the antagonist returns, security guard in tow. After approaching the table, the antagonist points at the hero and stammers, "That's him. He's the one. I want my money returned and I want him removed from the casino!"
The hero and the dealer exchange glances and shrugs. The floor supervisor approaches the table to see what the commotion is about. "What's going on," he asks, "and is there some way I can help?"
The antagonist points to the hero. "I'm having him thrown out of the casino for playing where he works. I know dealers aren't allowed to play where they work and I heard him say he is a dealer." He crossed his arms and glared, sure that he was correct.
The security guard asked of the hero, "Do you work here, sir?"
"No, sir, I don't. I work across town."
The floor supervisor intervened, addressing the security guard. "It's OK. He doesn't work here, and it wouldn't matter if he did. We allow our poker dealers to play in the room when they are off the clock. Poker works differently that the pit games."
The supervisor, apparently satisfied that nothing had happened which required his attention, walked away. The antagonist, now standing with mouth agape as if he had just been informed that, indeed, the world really is flat, seemed at a lost for words. He glanced around, hovering for what seemed an eternity, acting as if he was unsure of his next move. Finally, head lowered and shoulders slumped, he creeped away.
**********
The antagonist, an aggressive gentleman who had managed to irritate everyone at the table, quickly bet before the dealer had completely spread the flop. The hero, seated at the other end of the table, smiled and announced, "I call." Everyone else folded.
The turn paired the board. The antagonist again quickly put out a bet. The hero raised and, of course, the antagonist re-raised. The hero called.
The antagonist fired off a bet and the hero raised as the dealer burned the next card. The antagonist raised without looking at the river card the dealer turned up. The hero re-raised.
"Re-raise!"
"Re-raise!"
"Re-raise!"
"I guess I'm all in!"
At this point, no chips had yet been pushed across the line. The antagonist now paused. "Wait," he said, "wait. Can he go all in?" The dealer glanced up at the floor supervisor who had been watching the action.
"Sir, you are committed to at least $32 based on the number of times you announced that you wanted to re-raise. I counted four bets. Your opponent has only $39, so he has raised you an additional $7. You must put $32 into play. After that, you have two options. You can call the additional $7, or you can fold."
The antagonist went into the tank. He talked to himself, repeatedly questioning aloud how he could possibly lose the hand. After a full minute and a half, the hero finally looked at the floor and said, "Clock."
The game was $4/8 limit. In the middle of the table sat more than $100. The antagonist was faced with the decision to call one more $7 bet or fold. The floor informed him he had sixty seconds in which to act on his hand, after which his hand would be considered dead. The floor announced the countdown at fifteen-second intervals.
When the floor announced, "Fifteen seconds remaining," the antagonist finally tossed his cards angrily into the muck. "There's no way you were ahead on the flop," he muttered.
The hero tabled his hand, the turn having given him quads for a high-hand jackpot. The antagonist still refused to acknowledge he was ever behind.
The antagonist left without chips shortly thereafter. Unable to commit $7 into a $100+ pot when he seemed to honestly think he was ahead, he had no problem calling four bets cold with unsuited non-connectors. At least he could truthfully say nobody could put him on a hand.
**********
Hiking the Zion Narrows top-down on Sunday. Fourteen miles of wandering along a river should be quite relaxing. Monkey Boy and his far-more-attractive half, the wife, and a coworker are joining me for a casual two-day stroll down the Virgin River.
There will, of course, be photos :)
More importantly, there will be consumption of another Murder Burger at Oscar's after we emerge from the canyon. I quote, "The burger to die for :: huge Beef garlic burger with chopped Bacon, onions, Pepper Jack and Cheddar cheeses, lettuce, tomato, dill pickle and topped with our tasty chipotle aioli." How can you go wrong with something like that?? I loves me some Murder Burger!!
Well at least the Karma Police gave him what he deserved
Love the stories. Obviously, we all know why these clowns were labeled as antagonists. They were just being idiots. What would be your top three, surefire ways to be grouped in with clowns like those at a poker table? Maybe not the most extreme, but perhaps the most common things you see, as a dealer.
You couldn't make this stuff up.
Can't wait for the photos.
Things that annoy me as a player don't annoy me as a dealer. Seems weird but some things bug the crap out of me when I'm dealing and I don't care when I'm playing.
Things like cutting checks out in piles of 2. It's a $100 bet. When I'm dealing, I get twitchy when someone cuts out 50 piles of 2 red chips before restacking them and then announcing they call - even worse when they go through the whole procedure and then fold ;)
I don't mind how someone cuts their checks when I'm playing. When I'm playing, I've got all day.
The absolute worst, whether I'm playing or dealing, are the endless commenters. The players who simply cannot shut their yaps for any length of time. They have a comment for every single hand, whether they played it or not. They comment on other people's play. They try to answer questions addressed to the dealer - always nice when they answer incorrectly. Sometimes I wish dealers could wear earplugs!
I'm sure I'll think of some others ....
Weeeeeeeeee awesome stuff
Ya I hate the commentators, "must a been aces the way he bet every street" but they are providing so much info on their thought processes, level of thinking and skill so I don't mind xD
Mooooaaarrrrr
can we have some more "poker/vegas legends" stories please?!?!!! e.g. famous players/random celebs/vegas locals such as the homeless guy that lives off 1-2nl/the duke of freemont or less well known ones?
<3
I will try to come up with some. I'll have plenty of time to think while I lounge on the couch today recovering from the hike :)