Sporadicness
Thursday, September 29, 2011 @ 2:03 PM
Things around here might seem a bit sporadic in the coming months. New house, new job responsibilities, new...schtuff, all of which leaves little time for writing. Still, I try. To keep you entertained until the next time I manage to dash off my next post, my age-addled brain remembered enough facts to share a few poker-related stories.
Hopefully, they fit the bill...
I only have a few random short bits to share. I suppose calling them stories isn't exactly fair.
***
First came the extremely inebriated player at the $4/8 table. Working the floor, I kept watch over that game - partly out of concern related to the drunk guy, partly because it was the only game in the room and I needed something to focus on to keep me awake.
I returned to the podium after my umpteenth time walking the room looking for trash to pick up or chairs to straighten out, neither of which existed due to my previous walks through the room. I no more than picked up a pen when I heard the dealer call out "Floor!"
I walked over to the table, sure the issue I had been summoned for had something to do with our intoxicated guest. I reached the table and, before the dealer could speak, the drunk guy spouted off. "He can't raise! He doesn't even know how much I'm going to bet. This is ridiculous! He can't raise!"
A quick glance around the table told me all I needed to know but I asked the dealer what the issue was, just in case. Sure enough, the issue was that our inebriated friend wanted to bet and his opponent had beat him into the pot with his raise.
"Sir," I said, "the gentleman is entitled to raise. The raise stands."
"But," he exclaimed, "how can he raise if he doesn't know how much I'm going to bet? This is bullshit!"
"Sir, it's a limit game. There is a specific structure to the betting. As you are only allowed to bet $8 in this instance, should your opponent want to raise, he can only bet $16. He knows exactly what you are going to bet because you are only allowed to bet one specific amount."
"You're taking his side. This would never happen in a room on the Strip."
I opted to not continue the conversation and walked away after a final, "The raise stands. You can call the additional $8, you may raise $8 to a total of $24, or you can fold."
When I later found out that our genius friend worked in a poker room not far from ours, I could only roll my eyes....and once again wish that it were permissible for the staff to match the guests drink for drink ;)
***
I settled into the dealer chair and happily noticed that a group of Dutch players whom I hadn't seen in a while occupied one end of the table. I suspected the next thirty minutes would be enjoyable and I wasn't disappointed when the first conversation I heard left me - and most of the table - laughing.
Seat 8: What do you want to eat tomorrow?
Seat 10: Let's go to a soup kitchen.
Seat 8: What the hell? Why do you want to go to a soup kitchen?
Seat 10: I want soup. Maybe there will be a funny guy to serve us soup at the soup kitchen.
Seat 7: I'm not poor enough to get fed at a soup kitchen.
Seat 10: What do you mean?
Seat 8: A soup kitchen is for people in poverty. They can get free food there. Communities feed the needy at soup kitchens.
Seat 10: I thought a soup kitchen was like the place in Seinfeld. I want to go some place like that!
***
Just behind seat 4 on one particular table stands a pillar supporting the roof. This leaves a narrow passage between seats 3, 4, and said pillar, a rather skinny spot to traverse.
As I started to pitch the cards on that particular table, I noticed...and then heard...someone squeeze behind seat 4 in his path from the restroom to the bar. Seat 3's head snapped up and he shouted out "Really, dude?"
I started laughing. Seat 4 looked at me, inquiring "Did you hear that? Did I heard that? That didn't really just happen did it?"
Seat 3 shook his head and said in disbelief, "I hope that doesn't stink! I can't believe we just got crop dusted!"
***
On one of my last nights as a dealer, I dealt what might have been the single most boring heads-up no-limit game ever to exist.
The gentleman in seat 5 folded seven or nine hands in a row. Seat 3 never bothered to look at his cards. Seat 5 never once raised. For two hours, my personal hell went something like this:
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 calls! Dealer gets excited with anticipation! Seat 3 raises. Seat 5 folds.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 calls! Seat 3 checks! Dealer nearly passes out from exertion because he has to put a flop out! Seat 3 bets. Seat 5 folds.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Deal two cards to seats 3 and 5. Seat 5 folds. Set up seat 3's blinds for him.
Eh...you get the picture ;)
***
I really need to retire to bed now. Tonight starts a minimum 12-night run of work with no nights off, potentially growing into a 19-night run. Needless to say, they have yet to find a replacement for my coworker whose last night was last night - I hope she does well at Delaware Park!
Somewhere amongst all those hours working, I still have half a house to prep and paint, cabinets to be stripped of paint and stained, numerous other projects...
Ah, the joys of home ownership. At least I only have to do this isht once!
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<3
GL with fixing up the house.
